Upon his immediate departure, as a Los Angeles Lakers fan, it was tough to dislike Shaquille O’Neal. The dude changed the franchise, brought home some championships, and was downright enjoyable. I had no qualms rocking my replica jersey from the summer we picked him up.

But that was then and this is now.

Whether or not it was just an attempt to distance himself and assimilate away from Los Angeles, Shaq decided it was a good idea to blast the L.A. fans, Kobe Bryant, and Phil Jackson. The fans? Fine - there are many a bandwagoner. Kobe? Also warranted at the time. Phil? This was a roundabout one, but saying Pat Riley was the best coach you ever had when Phil was the one to mold you into who you are now and who you looked up to, well, that’s a bit excessive.

Now, tack on something new to the resume.

O’Neal, ever the epitome of maturity, unleashed an unnecessary, downright outlandish “freestyle” aimed at Kobe just recently:

Classy.

Really Shaq? I mean I understand the beef and all, but you can’t turn around and shit on a guy like this after feigning acceptance as of late.

Furthermore, can you really say anything at this point of your career? You were supposed to come to the Phoenix Suns to take them to the promised land. Instead, you’re likely to rot away on the sidelines at a much more expedited pace from here on in.

Hey Shaq, tell me how the bench tastes.

It’s reassuring knowing that our team’s athletic trainer specializes in action figure and doll medicine. Unfortunately, basketball players are a different breed - one that actually requires some sort of knowledge of sports medicine and human physiology.

For far too long, Los Angeles Lakers athletic trainer Gary Vitti has been phoning it in.

Yes, he’s been around since the Showtime days, which automatically gives him tenure and a job for life, a la Stu Lantz. He even won a Trainer of the Year award back in 1991 (and devoted an entire page on his site to it).

But since the late 90’s and into present day, Vitti has been slacking off. It seems like L.A. has finally gotten to him, as he looks more primed for a day at the beach than for duty as athletic trainer for one of the biggest sports franchises in the world.

Let’s look at the what he’s been dealing with:

• An oft-injured Shaquille O’Neal (who has seemingly re-emerged healthy in Phoenix now)
• A misdiagnosis of Karl Malone, effectively ending his playing career
• The (non)-walking injury that is Chris Mihm
• The seeming misdiagnosis of Andrew Bynum (8 weeks was about a month ago!)

Somehow, Pau Gasol was able to avoid the Vitti treatment and came back promptly from injury. While both Laker big men were down, Phil Jackson offered up some choice words:

Gary Vitti is the guy that really bothers me the most because he’s our trainer who can’t get everybody healthy.

Every day he says, ‘I wish I could get this guy ready for you, but. . . . ‘

I won’t go through the litany of the rest of it.

No, PLEASE go through the litany of the rest of it, Phil. We desperately need a reason to run this guy out of town.

How does a team like the Phoenix Suns manage to stay in such great shape? They were able to bring back Amare Stoudamire from a potentially serious microfracture surgery with relative ease, and its not like the Suns play a physically lax game. Dudes are running non-stop for an entire season!

Oh, what the Lakers could be given a semblance of competence on the training staff.

Fandom aside, you have to feel for the players subjected to such inhumane treatment. Careers being wasted away by the Vitti vex.

Maybe PETA should double up the A in the acronym to include Athletes. Douse that offender in some of that red paint to smear his cocoa butter-applied fake tan.

This has clearly become a humanitarian cause.

I’ve posted a few sports commercials on this site in the past, and I figured it was time to expand upon the topic (even more there are about to be some repeats in here). Here are some of the best I’ve seen so far in 2008:

5. Shaq the Jockey

Shaquille O’Neal and his horse, Chunk of Love, win in a photo finish in this Vitamin Water spot. This originally debuted during the Super Bowl and I’m sure it caught everyone by surprise. Nice touch with the crotch pat at the end.

Note: no horses were euthanized in the making of this commercial.

4. NBA - Where Amazing Happens

This campaign has been going for a while now, but is totally worth mentioning in the top 5. Although the concept has gotten a bit played out as the season has gone on, no one disagrees how great these have been. Even through May, we are still getting some good ones, particularly the spots personalized by athletes, such as this one by Dwight Howard:

Don’t forget Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash’s questionable haircuts:

We’ve all seen the original spots before, but have you checked out YouTube in the past months? There are countless other versions created by fans that are good unto themselves. The simplicity of the commercials makes it easy for anyone to make their own. Some fans have even taken it upon themselves to do crossover ads into other sports to showcase their favorite teams:

A Philadelphia Eagles example:

Or how about a New York Yankees version recounting moments and figures in their fabled ballpark:

Ok enough of these… you get it. On to the next one…

3. 2008 NBA Playoffs - There Can Only Be One

The original split screen that debuted with Shaq and Kobe was incredible. Everyone knows their history and their story, and it was interesting to see them as one once more. Seeing this definitely got me amped for the playoffs.

Needless to say, several people within the NBA marketing department undoubtedly got huge raises this year for these two ad campaigns.

EDIT: PhDribble just posted this one and I had to include it as well:

Although not as simple as the Where Amazing Happens commercials, these too are clearly customizable and versatile. Hell, its even been extended out to movie advertisement for Adam Sandler’s new flick:

Oh, split screen goodness…

2. Sidney Crosby - League of Clutch

I included this Gatorade spot starring Sidney Crosby in an earlier post, but due to its significance to the sport, I’m placing it this high on the list.

It’s great to see Sid the Kid’s success in this postseason. Hockey is coming back big.

1. Nike Soccer in the first person

Another recent post, I’m still clearly not over this ad.

I’m aware the division is actually Nike Football. I’m a fan of the sport and all, but sorry purists (cough, Devin, cough) - for all intents and purposes, its known as soccer on this site.

Sure its a bit shaky, but Guy Ritchie did good work. This isn’t exactly Cloverfield or anything.

Soak that one in, tsarist subjects. This commercial is pure perfection.