Jul 09 2008
I can haz Elton Brand and Baron Davis togedder on same team? NO WAI!!!
The Los Angeles Clippers have never looked so futile, with Brand’s imminent departure to the Philadelphia 76ers. General manager Elgin Baylor has some fixin’ to do. As per usual.
Jul 02 2008
The futures of NBA franchises hang in the balance as the names and possible destinations of big-name free agents fly around the web.
Going by popular consensus (along with some off-the-wall choices as well), let’s look at who might be wearing what colors next season, and what those teams will look like:
(Of course, these may all be totally wrong by the time you read this, but enjoy the crappy Photoshopping regardless)
The 76ers fail to bring in Elton Brand, so they try to make a splash with another name by bringing in Slam Dunk Contest champion J-Smoove. Running the fast break with Andre Iguodala on one side and Smith on the other, Andre Miller averages 20 assists per game over the course of the entire season.
After opting out of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers, Xzibit Maggette goes to a real contender with a chance to win. He provides on-again, off-again scoring to make the Spurs offense at least quasi-watchable.
Posey anoints himself Big Shot Pose, proclaims he can win a championship wherever he goes, and vows to take the Hornets to the next level. The Hornets advance to the Finals, but Posey misses half of the deciding game whilst sitting in a KFC drive-thru waiting for his bucket of chicken. Morris Peterson plays in his place, running the team into the ground. By the time a well-fed, content Posey arrives at the arena, it is far too late.
Brand mistakenly eats some magic mushrooms and, surprising even himself, takes Golden State’s max money, swapping spots with Baron Davis. Apparently it wasn’t as much about winning as it was hooking up with his B.F.F. Stephen Jackson and replicating his chest tattoos.
Merely feigning idiocy, Artest reveals he is actually an accomplished physicist, invents the time machine, and goes back in time one day to indeed opt out of his contract. Negating his previous statements, he signs with the Lakers for the mid-level exception, only to regret his decision.
Jul 02 2008
Move over Lakers-Celtics and Suns-Mavs, there’s a new NBA rivlary on the block: Clippers-Warriors.
The Golden State Warriors, after getting the rug pulled out from under them in the Baron Davis opt-out fiasco, are now going after Elton Brand in an attempt to save face and reel in a new superstar.
Brand originally opted out in the hopes of the Clips landing another free agent, which they did with Davis, but now has to be thinking twice with the exorbitant sum just offered to him from the team up north.
The Warriors really do seem like they shot themselves in the foot through all of this, originally declining to extend Baron with an appropriate amount of years, thus causing the current sequence of events we are witnessing. Gilbert Arenas seems likely to stay with the Washington Wizards, so this max offer just reeks of desperation.
In the process, they’re sure to be making enemies. Baron pledged his allegiance to Da Bay and seemingly left reluctantly, faced with no other alternative. The Clips can’t be happy with this, as it obviously throws one giant wrench into their plans.
Hopefully, Brand will keep a level head despite the offer and stay the course as to not upset Baron or the Clips, and just leave Golden State looking like jackasses to deal with the ramifications and newborn bad blood.
Wow. Every team in the Pacific Division is suddenly a hell of a story.
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