Here is a list of all available PS3 trophies/Xbox 360 achievements for NHL 10. They are identical tasks to complete, with the only difference between the two consoles being the assignment of a Bronze/Silver/Gold/Platinum trophy for PS3 and various Gamerscore points on the 360. If you wanna know which are Gold or whatever or how much each is worth, consult an actual gaming site.

While all of these are self-explanatory, I didn’t find any guides available that actually give you pointers or additional information that may make getting these easier.

Raise Your Banner
Acquire all the Bronze, Silver and Gold trophies

Complete all the other tasks. You know how platinums go…

Gold Team
Be a member of an EA SPORTS Hockey League team that has won a Gold Medal

I have heard of some teams opening up membership to whoever requested it that had won all their medals for the previous season. Try scouring some message boards to see if anyone out there is doing it. Or you know, just assemble a good team and go at it yourself.

If you get a gold medal, you will automatically get the underlying silver and bronze as well.

Silver Team
Be a member of an EA SPORTS Hockey League team that has won a Silver Medal

I believe you have to be in the top 150 of whichever league you play in (Casual or Professional) for a given month/season to unlock this one.

Bronze Team
Be a member of an EA SPORTS Hockey League team that has won a Bronze Medal

Let’s say this one is maybe around top 200 or so?

Party Animal
Complete an EA SPORTS Hockey League match with 6 human controlled players on your team

If you never end up with this many people online at once on your EASHL team, resort to the public games. Just rinse and repeat until someone mans up and doesn’t quit the game after 5 minutes of playing goalie and letting in 4 goals…

It’s a Challenge
Challenge and beat another EA SPORTS Hockey League team

We had trouble getting this one with my Xbox 360 EASHL team. It would never match us up with anything. Yet my PS3 team seemed to have it pretty quick. Anyways, you have the option to go for this if you create an EASHL game and are waiting for people to filter into the room and start things up.

Trophy Case
Be a member of a team that has won all the EA SPORTS Hockey League team trophies

Most of the team trophies you get are pretty basic. The only tough one might be playing with 6 people at once.

Grade A
Get an overall A rating in a match with your Be A Pro character

Stay in position, knock a puck loose or win some faceoffs, and tally a goal or an assist and you should satisfy the requirements here.

Star Power
Get the first star in a match with your Be A Pro character

Easy enough. Just score a goal or two and odds are you’ll be named first star.

Goal Master
Get 25 goals with your Be A Pro character

You’ll get this one in time by playing BAP. Not sure if this needs to be done with the same BAP character or over everything you may have saved.

Assists King
Get 35 assists with your Be A Pro character

You’ll get this one in time by playing BAP. Not sure if this needs to be done with the same BAP character or over everything you may have saved.

Point Leader
Get 60 points with your Be A Pro character

You’ll get this one in time by playing BAP. Not sure if this needs to be done with the same BAP character or over everything you may have saved.

Goalie Legend
Win 5 matches with your Be A Pro character playing as a goalie

This one takes a surprisingly long amount of time if you start a goalie from scratch and have to play in the NHL. Not sure if it’s possible, but try starting up a BAP profile with like, Martin Brodeur or something and see if you can do that. Obviously that would be easier than being the backup for the Lake Erie Monsters.

Out Of the Box
Complete an Online Versus Play ranked match without getting a penalty

This one is all about discipline. I play pretty aggressive defensive that involves a lot of poke checking, which inevitably leads to a few tripping penalties. Just go into a game with this task in mind and don’t go for any pokes or late hits or anything and you will do fine.

Century Play
Score a total of 100 goals in Online Versus Play ranked matches over your career

Play a lot, score goals, get paid.

All Play
Complete and win an Online Versus Play ranked match with three or more guests on the same PS3 system

I hope you’re rich enough to afford this many controllers. They ain’t cheap.

Its Not Easy
Beat a NHL team using an AHL team in an Online Versus Play ranked match

This is exactly as it sounds. Just wait till the wee hours when your online opposition may be drunk and vulnerable and stick it to them with a lesser squad.

Faceoff King
Win 80% of the faceoffs in an Online Versus Play ranked match

Pretty much the same logic as beating an NHL team with an AHL team. Wait for lesser opposition and prey upon them.

No Offsides
Complete an Online Versus Play ranked match without being called for an offside

This is somewhat on par with not getting a penalty during a match, but not as bad. Just be conscious of it throughout the game and don’t mess up.

No Icing
Complete an Online Versus Play ranked match without being called for icing

Avoid any long passes that might not reach their destination, since they will likely sail through the neutral zone and be touched up for icing. Once again, this is one you have to be conscious of.

Shootout Shutout
Win an Online Shootout ranked match without being scored on

Most people I have played Online Shootouts against haven’t been the best of opponents. Just don’t stray too far from the middle of the crease and don’t flop around like an idiot and odds are they will shoot the puck right into you.

Shootout Master
Score three goals in a row in an Online Shootout ranked match

Forehand, backhand, forehand, shoot. Forehand, backhand, forehand, shoot. Forehand, backhand, forehand, shoot.

Or just skate in a wide pattern and wait for the opposing goalie to inevitably be out of position.

It’s the Playoffs
Complete an Online League playoff match

Never played this mode, but sounds pretty self explanatory.

League Champion
Win an Online League that has at least 4 members

Never played this mode, but sounds pretty self explanatory.

Call Me
Unlock 3 phones in Be A GM mode

I have actually never played this mode and haven’t the slightest idea. Next.

Look No Goalie
Pull your goalie and score a goal against the CPU or an online opponent in a ranked match

If you’re winning and the CPU pulls their goalie, pull yours too when you have possession of the puck and skate down and score.

Don’t Let Up
Score four unanswered goals against the CPU or an online opponent in a ranked match

If you have trouble scoring goals and can’t do this the easy way, try getting into a situation where you can come back from a 1-0 deficit. Go up 2-1, then the CPU will pull their goalie and you will have a chance to pull away and get up to 4 total goals.

Pressure Play
Keep the pass completion % for CPU or online opponent in ranked match under 40%

This is tricky, as the CPU is pretty good at connecting with their passes. You are best off trying to find an online opponent that can’t pass for shit, or play the computer, win the opening faceoff of each period, and just skate circles.

Dump It
Dump the puck from outside the offensive blue line 10 times in one match

Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Carry the puck past the red line, shoot the puck in. Voila! Trophy.

Break Away
Score two break away goals in one match

I initially had trouble with this one because I’d get multiple breakaways in a game but only score one goal on my attempts. Then I joined my PS3 EASHL team and they scored a couple on the breakaway, allowing me to unlock this. Easy stuff – just let someone online do the work for you!

Line Juggler
Do five manual line changes during a match

This should be cake. If you don’t know how to change lines in a Versus game, RTFM (always wanted to use that acronym)

Board Play
Pin a player using board play and gain possession of the puck

If you passed the tutorial and made it this far, then I would imagine you would be able to repeat what you learned there.

Gameplay Master
Perform a loose puck deke and score a goal

The easiest way to do this one would be to play a single player match, go up by no more than 2 goals so the opposing team pulls their goalie, then gain some room moving towards the empty net, deke, and bury the puck.

Fighting Major
Accept and win a fight against a human controlled opponent

Doesn’t matter if you do this one in a Versus match or an EASHL match. Just fight a dude and win.

Self Sacrifice
Score a goal with an injured player

You’ll have to do this one in a single player game or an Online Versus match. If someone on your team gets hurt, you will receive a prompt if he is able to come back in the game. Obviously, you want to put him in. Now just pray he isn’t too battered and slow that you can’t score with him.

Hardcore Superstar
Play and win a match on Hardcore Superstar settings against the CPU

Tweak the pre-game settings to Superstar difficulty and Hardcore rule settings. Play as the Centennial Montreal Canadiens team against like the Austrian national team or something.

Unlock Gloves
Earn a pair of 2 slot gloves

I forgot how I got these but I think it was easy. Just go scroll through the different gloves in the Edit Player section and see what you have to do.

Unlock Skates
Earn a pair of 2 slot skates

I did this one by playing a game with each NHL team. Just go through them all and do a quick shootout with each squad and you will unlock these. You don’t even have to win each shootout.

Battle for the Cup
Win a Battle for the Cup series with an Elite league team in a 7 game series against the CPU

Eager to Learn
Complete the Boot Flow Interactive Tutorial

You’ll get this one as you do the basic tutorial to start the game. If you can’ t get it, you better have saved the receipt for this game.

New Beginnings
Complete a match using NHL 94 Control settings

This one is dumb, as you can’t really do much right with such primitive controls in a next-gen game. Be sure to switch the controls before you start the game. Also, be sure you switch them back to whatever you were using before if you go to play online. I got stuck with NHL 94 controls in an EASHL game and it was brutal (although I did manage an assist!)

Twas the week before Madden
And all across the net
Coverboys were nervous
And couldn’t help but fret

Madden 10 hits store shelves next week, and few people can talk about the release of Madden without talking about a phenomenon surrounding its cover athletes.

The cover athletes have been hot topics every year since perception is that they tended to have off years and fall victims to the Madden Curse. But how poorly do they really do? Is the curse even real? The numbers will surely tell all…

To preface, the cover athletes (outside of Ray Lewis, who I omitted for the sake of homogeneous data) have all been either running backs or quarterbacks, so I will be looking at Rushing Yards/Rushing TDs/Fumbles and Passing Yards/Passing TDs/INTs respectively. While this analysis is far from perfect, it more or less cuts right to the chase.

Madden NFL 2001 – Eddie George

My what happy times these were. George was the first solo cover athlete and there was still no talk of any such curse. With that, it took an extra year for the effect to kick in. In his cover year, George rushed for a career best 1509 yards, 14 TDs, and 5 fumbles. But the curse then struck in 2001 to the tune of a drop-off to 939 yds, 5 TDs, 8 fumbles.

Bottom Line: -38% yds, -65% TDs, +60% fumbles

Madden NFL 2002 – Daunte Culpepper

Daunte was proclaimed the next big thing after a rookie year singing to the tune of 3937 passing yds, 33 TDs, and 16 INTs. Sophomore slump or cover jinx? He slipped to 2612 yds, 14 TDs, 13 INTs in his cover year.

Bottom Line: -33% yds, -58% TDs, -19% INTs

Madden NFL 2003 – Marshall Faulk

Marshall had a string of amazing years, culminating with 1382 yds, 12 TDs, and 3 fumbles in 2001. And then came 2002, his cover year, and the beginning of the end. Faulk dropped off to 953 yds, 8 TDs, and 4 fumbles. This would be an even more startling decline if his receiving TDs were taken into account. But alas, I’m too lazy.

Bottom Line: -31% yds, -33% TDs, +33% fumbles

Madden NFL 2004 – Michael Vick

This may have been what REALLY ignited the Madden Curse fire. 4 days after the release of Madden 2004, Vick broke his leg during a preseason game and only played 5 games at season’s end. The season prior, Vick racked up 2936 yds, 16 TDs (plus 8 rushing TDs, of course), and 8 INTs. Vick never quite reached those statistical achievements again. His first full year after the injury, he came back with 2313 yds, 14 TDs, and 13 INTs (not to mention only 3 rushing TDs).

Bottom Line: -21% yds, -13% TDs, +63% INTs

Madden NFL 2006 – Donovan McNabb

McNabb had a career year in 2004, amassing 3875 yds, 31 TDs, and 8 INTs. However, he too fell victim to the curse and played 6 fewer games due to season-ending injury. Either way, his final line of 2507 yds, 16 TDs, and 9 INTs wasn’t going to surpass his previous season.

Bottom Line: -35% yds, -48% TDs, +13% INTs

Madden NFL 2007 – Shaun Alexander

The 2005 season was legendary for Alexander. It was one in which he earned league MVP honors, broke records, and led his team to the Super Bowl. Along the way, he victimized NFL defenses with 1880 yds, 27 TDs, and 5 fumbles. During the following year, he was plagued by a foot injury sustained in Week 3 that caused him to miss several starts and never regain top form. He went for 896 yds, 7 TDs, and 6 fumbles.

Bottom Line: -52% yds, -74% TDs, +20% fumbles

Madden NFL 2008 – Vince Young

Vince Young was highly touted coming out of college, and fared well enough in his first NFL season, netting 2199 yds, 12 TDs, and 13 INTs. Still huffing those college fumes, EA Sports must have figured he would improve on this and gave him the cover in 2007. Vince responded with 2546 yds, 9 TDs, and 17 INTs. Looks like they may have been singing his praises a little too soon.

Bottom Line: +16% yds, -25% TDs, +31% INTs

Madden NFL 2009 – Brett Favre

When Favre was named the cover athlete for Madden 09, everyone thought the curse was over. After all, how could it affect a retired player? But just as everyone was forgetting about the curse, Favre goes ahead and unretires and links up with the New York Jets. Despite his advanced age, Favre still consistently performed at a high level, putting up 4155 yds, 28 TDs, and 15 INTs in 2007. As quarterback of the Jets, he only managed 3472 yds, 22 TDs, and 22 INTs. Many thought to just chalk it up to learning a new offense and adjusting to a new team. Or was it the curse?

Bottom Line: -16% yds, -21% TDs, +47% INTs

Conclusion

The overall bottom line supports the argument for existence of the curse. On average, each cover athlete took a dip of -26% in respective yardage, -42% in respective TDs, and had their negative stats (INTs and fumbles) go +31%.

So what will that mean for this year’s crop of cover talent?

Unprecedented!

Not only are there two athletes this year, but one is a defensive player (Troy Polamalu) and the other is a receiver (Larry Fitzgerald). Perhaps EA Sports did their own research similar to mine and is mixing it up to prevent tampering with the players. Is the curse officially over?

It’s NBA Finals day, but from the looks of it out there, you’d think it was Kobe Bryant Blog Day all over again.

First, of course, the announcement of Mamba as the NBA2K10 cover athlete:

And if that wasn’t enough, Lil Wayne drops a track commemorating Mr. Bryant.

I drops 40 on your double-team
Then I drop 81 on another team

Check out the track here. Great rhymes for a great player. Oh and some shots at LeBron James too.

LET THE FINALS BEGIN!

If you haven’t noticed, NBA Jam has been a recurring theme on this blog.

The Jam makes a cameo once more. As I was rummaging through old photos on this computer getting ready to back everything up onto a shiny new external HD, I happened upon the following picture:

I most likely whipped out the old Super Nintendo a few years back to play through Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and popped in Jam to take a break from warping between the Light and Dark Worlds.

I mean I figured I was always fairly good at video games – what self-respecting little nerdy kid wasn’t? I didn’t know I was 121-0 good though. I tried playing another game but it was pure chaos. Bill Clinton and Adrock just kept making it rain and running me out of the gym, so I figured it best to save my undefeated integrity and hang up my glowing NBA Jam sneakers.

This seemed especially worth posting given the current happenings over at Ball Don’t Lie.

I’m sure there were even bigger and better winning streaks out there than mine. What you guys got? And don’t come at me with “yea dog i was 547-0 n shit dog” – you’re an idiot. Also, photographic proof or it never happened. Obviously.

I hope whoever bought this cartridge off me on eBay last month hasn’t sullied my glistening record.

The college football season is close, and what better way to get in the mood than by picking up a copy of NCAA Football 09 to play.

One of the biggest new additions to the game has been the ability to transfer your online dynasty offline, or vice versa. It seems that playing in an online dynasty with friends is the cool things to do, so I decided to organize a league with whoever I knew that had to game to do the damn thang.

We limited our school selections the Big Ten Conference, based on the fact that one player actually goes to one of the schools. Plus there are quality teams, so it works.

Here’s who’s who and what’s what in the league:

Jack – Wisconsin Badgers – Dude actually goes to the school (or did – I stopped trying to keep track of people), so this is warranted. Thanks for making the quasi-executive decision and at least having a team preference to narrow down who we would play with.

Jason – Ohio State Buckeyes – He claims to have some sort of kin who attended the school, so we’ll let him have dibs on the best team in the conference. I dominated him online this past weekend, so I guess he deserves a bit of a handicap.

George – Illinois Fighting Illini – This one’s for Ryne. Plus, it’s gonna be amazing typing names like Juice Williams and Arrelious Benn over and over again as I recap games.

Tyler – Michigan Wolverines – I stuck him with whatever decent team was left. Clearly just in it for the love of the game. Welcome aboard.

I’m sure you will all be thrilled to read recaps of video game college football, so this is precisely what I will provide for you. Stay tuned!

Oh wait – if you have an Xbox 360 and wanna get in on the action with another Big Ten team, leave a comment with your gamertag and I’ll reach out to you on Xbox Live. Sigh – I’m a nerd.

Inspired by this excellent recollection of NHL 94, I felt basketball was equally deserving of such an honor with none other than the original NBA Jam.

Looking back at the rosters, some of these 2-player combinations seemed utterly ridiculous. Its also definitely entertaining to see all the names and realize what they’ve been through and where they’ve ended up since Jam’s release in 1993.

Time to boot up the ol’ SNES/Sega Genesis and see where we were 15 years ago in the West…

Western Conference

Dallas Mavericks – Derek Harper, Jim Jackson

Harper was a fixture on most consoles, and with a moustache like his, how could he not be? Kudos to Jim Jackson for still being on the active NBA radar. He actually originally replaced Mike Iuzzolino, a 2nd round draft pick that played a tidy 2 seasons in the NBA before bolting for Europe

Denver Nuggets – Dikembe Mutumbo, LaPhonso Ellis

After asking the coeds of Georgetown who wanted to sex Mutumbo, the big man burst onto the NBA scene. He could have definitely used help in this game though from a quicker shooting guard, a la Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. C’mon – the big man/guard dunk/outside shooting combination is necessary for Jam success.

Golden States Warriors – Tim Hardaway, Chris Mullin

Too bad John Amaechi wasn’t in this game to potentially complete one of the most awkward pairings possible. Mullin made it rain and is still a Warrior, acting as their current GM, but you really needed a guy like Latrell Sprewell to throw it down here.

Houston Rockets – Hakeem Olajuwon, Vernon Maxwell

Bam – perfect combination right here. The Dream would stuff you on one end and then stuff it down your throat on the other, and Maxwell was the outside touch. They HAD to have given Mad Max some extra attributes for his turbo elbow throws based on the fact that he was, well, mad.

Los Angeles Clippers – Danny Manning, Ron Harper

Is it just me, or has Ron Harper always seemed old and cagey, even though he had only been in the league for like 7 years at this point? Also, does anyone realize that Elgin Baylor was an executive with the Clips even back then and was responsible for drafting Manning? Also part two: Loy Vaught. You were awesome.

Los Angeles Lakers – Vlade Divac, James Worthy

Post-Showtime rebuilding Lake Show. Magic-less and scared. Nick Van Exel probably would have been a better pick. Paired with a young Vlade, they presented the most tremendous upside potential to maybe squeak out wins.

Minnesota Timberwolves – Christian Laettner, Chuck Person

Surprising that Doug West wasn’t in this pairing, considering he was the team’s leading scorer the previous season. The wizards at Midway did the right thing in pairing Person with budding big man Laettner.

Phoenix Suns – Dan Majerle, Kevin Johnson

Where’s Barkley, you ask? Oh he was busy teaming with Accolade on Shut Up And Jam, thus keeping his rights to himself and out of the hands of midway. KJ was the next clear choice, despite his prior injury-riddle campaign. For the sake of the outside/inside balance, Cedric Ceballos may have been better. Sigh… Sir Charles would’ve been a stud in this game given the use of glowing turbo sneakers.

Portland Trail Blazers – Clyde Drexler, Terry Porter

Before they were the Jail Blazers, Portland was a high caliber team that had been to the Finals 2 of the previous 3 years. But alas, Clyde was already gliding downhill and this franchise would turn ugly fast. Bold prediction: Terry Porter is fired as Suns head coach by the All-Star break.

Sacramento Kings – Wayman Tisdale, Mitch Richmond

One of them piggybacked his way to a championship, the other started cutting jazz records. Excellent omission of Spud Webb. Dude would’ve gotten KILLED by one of Vernon Maxwell’s turbo elbows.

San Antonio Spurs – David Robinson, Sean Elliott

The three-point prowess of a Dale Ellis or the speed of an Avery Johnson may have been better pairings next to the Admiral. Perhaps the powers that be were simply letting Elliott shine knowing that he would be suffering some hardships down the road. Additionally, Chuck Person was the starter in the Sega CD version, yet appears with the Timberwolves in this SNES/Genesis version were using as a template. Shenanigans!

Seattle Supersonics – Shawn Kemp, Detlef Schrempf

Astute move by Midway adding Schrempf to the roster despite his existing as a Pacer the year prior. Everyone knows this should have been Gary Payton feeding the Reignman. Any guesses on how many kids Kemp had fathered at this point in his career? I’ll say 4.

Utah Jazz – Karl Malone, John Stockton

Of COURSE it was gonna be these two. Who did you think it was gonna be? A young Ike Austin? As good of a pair as these two were throughout their careers and in the game, did anyone ever even want to play with them?

-

Do you remember playing the game as well? Got something to add to the post? Did I screw up anywhere (I’m sure I did)? Let me know!

Thanks to Basketball-Reference and Wikipedia for making this happen. Check back in the coming days for the Eastern Conference recap!

Hello all. The Tsar has given me a visa to post here, and I’m grateful that procuring this didn’t involve marrying a foreign bride (yet). I’m Mark, and I’ll be regaling you with my (mostly pedestrian) insights on various sports, my lousy fantasy teams, wacky terminology that George and I have come up with over the years, and so on and so forth. Anyway, for my first post, I’d like to reveal just why, from an extreme outsider’s perspective, the San Antonio Spurs find themselves in such a deep hole in their playoff series with the New Orleans Hornets.

You see, in my spare time my roommate and I play quite a bit of NBA 2K8. Probably too much, since we now play seven games series in order to get our fix. Anyway, whenever our friend Jeff comes over he also plays. Jeff, it turns out, is ridiculously good with the Hornets, namely because they fit his style of play to a T. Whenever Jeff plays as the Hornets, he employs a simple yet effective strategy: he clogs the middle and dares his opponent to shoot 3-pointers. And when I say “dare,” I mean that he sags off perimeter players by a least a couple feet. The natural inclination when seeing this is to think to yourself, “Damn, he’s really giving me a lot of space. I know I shouldn’t but…I’m so open…if I make this, it’ll be huge…SCREW IT.” Then you hoist up a three and (probably) clank it. Then Jeff gets the rebound, runs back before you can get in transition, and gets an easy 2. Fall victim to this a few times in a row, and suddenly you’re down by 10. Then you get freaked out that it’s seemingly impossible to get inside on offense, start to settle for more open 3s, missing more than you make, and before you know it you’ve lost by at least 15. And every single time, as the game ends and the awful NBA 2K8 music begins (“I GRIND I PUSH I WORK REAL HARD”), you smack yourself in the forehead. “Why did I fall into the trap?! Why did I take so many damned 3s?!” Around our apartment, playing against Jeff when he’s the Hornets is referred to as “taking the Hornet Challenge.” This strategy, of course, is not without its downsides. Namely, if you make your 3s, the strategy is fairly ineffective. I have beaten it before, but it took some ridiculous 3-point shooting (I made something like 60% and shot over 30) to do so. Also, getting to the line can overcome it as well (though counting on this in NBA 2K8 is like counting on Kevin Garnett to take the big shot).

I bring this up because this must be exactly what the Spurs and Gregg Popovich are thinking after the first 2 games in this series. There are obviously a number of reasons the Spurs are getting smacked around in this series (effective defense on Tim Duncan, Chris Paul having his way with a slow, aging Bruce Bowen, David West being an absolute terror even when he only scores 10 points), but this is one that has been mostly overlooked (Though ESPN’s TrueHoop blog made note of it today), and the numbers don’t lie. In the regular season, the Spurs attempted 19.6 3-pointers per game. In the playoffs, they’ve averaged about 16 3-point attempts. But if you look at these past couple games, the numbers tell a different story. In Game 1, the Spurs attempted a whopping 31 threes, connecting on just 12 of them (38.7%). They settled down (slightly) in Game 2, taking “only” 27, but making just 8 (a ghastly 29.6%). In Game 1, three Spurs attempted 8 or more 3-pointers, only one of them shooting 50% (Bruce Bowen, 5-10, most coming in the first half). This is in keeping with how the Hornets have played all year, as they allowed the most 3-point attempts per game of any team in the league.

Watching this series, whenever a Spurs player jacks up a 3, you can see the wheels turning in their heads, and I imagine them thinking the same things I do when I play Jeff. “Man, a 3 would be huge here. Why are they sagging off on me so much? I can totally make this!”

HOIST. CLANK. “DAMMIT!”

It happened 19 times in both Games 1 and 2. It doesn’t surprise me that the Hornets defend like this, because it is a good strategy…but it’s usually most effective against gunslingling teams like, say, the Nuggets or the Warriors. The obvious downside, like I said before, is that a team will suddenly make its 3-pointers in bunches, but in that case Byron Scott will live with getting burned by such low-percentage shots. After all, as a team the Spurs shot 37% from beyond the arc as a team this season. If I’m Byron Scott, I’ll live with them taking shots with that sort of success rate instead of banging to the basket or having Tony Parker or Ginobili penetrate for easy looks. But with all that said, I’m frankly pretty shocked the Spurs are falling into this trap instead of working to get better shots. Is it because they’re too old and lack the quickness to get around the defense? Are they that confident in their 3 point shooting (I hope not)? Are they just falling behind early and desperately gunning to get back into the game?

Beats me. I’m just a couch potato who plays way too much NBA.

And now, we continue the list of basketball video game goodness:

NBA Live/NBA2K – Also along the lines of the previous grievance, a similar one may be filed for this game series. In the more accurate simulation basketball games, you strived for realistic results and competition whenever you squared off. It was an unwritten rule that if someone wants to play with the 70 overall Milwaukee Bucks that you’re not gonna punish them with a 96 overall Detroit Pistons team. However, people sometimes disobey this rule, even taking it further. You’ll want to take the Charlotte Bobcats for a joyride and try to fight for a victory, so you expect your opponent to pick a squad that will actually make it an interesting game, but instead at the last second they pull out the 90′s West All-Stars on you and the point of the game is lost. Jackass.

NBA Live/NBA2K – There are a number of strategies that get abused in these games, despite the attempt to have these titles be as “realistic” as possible.

Let’s face it – no team starts intentionally fouling with 5 minutes left in the 4th quarter. Not even in the old Hack-a-Shaq days was it this bad. Stop making me earn it from the stripe – you’re only delaying the inevitable.

It is impossible to sprint down the court to catch someone on a fastbreak, hold the “draw charge” button, and have an offensive foul called. This is kind of like the old “Randy Ratio” in Minnesota where Culpepper HAD to throw the ball to Moss a certain number of times. Ditto in these kinds of games – you keep using the draw charge button, you will get some calls – no matter if it should’ve gone the other way and been a blocking call.

And finally, I realize that attempting to block a shot on a desperation half court shot is pretty dick, but that won’t stop me from doing it. You never know…

NBA Inside Drive – This had to be some sort of glitch in the code. No offense to Mr. Wally Szcerbiak, but there is no way he is this good. Everytime Wally drove and threw up a fadeaway falling towards the baseline, it was money in the bank. No joke. But hey maybe this is just something I’m not aware of. For all we know as a kid, Little Wally could’ve had one leg longer than the other and a slight vertigo problem that caused him to drift towards the baseline and fall down.

NCAA March Madness – Two words. IAN BOYLAN. Who is this fine chap you may ask? Oh he’s only the greatest player in Cal State Northridge history. Unfortunately, this distinction only earns you a trip to the Euro leagues to fight for a roster spot. Somehow, Boylan, a basketball intelligent with a slightly above average jumper but otherwise mediocre skills, was totally unstoppable in this game. I have not seen such domination in a videogame since the old Tecmo Bowl games where you could run back to your own goal line with Jerry Rice and run it 100 yards for a touchdown everytime. In the March Madness videogame (but only on Normal difficulty), Boylan would go off for 65 points against the lieks of Duke and UConn, using a slew of crossovers to create seperation to nail 3 after 3. Too bad he wasn’t this dominant in real life. CSUN could’ve at least qualified for the tourney for a change.

Feel free to comment and tell me about your stories… once I have some more rounded up, I shall post them for the world to see.

I would like to think of myself as somewhat of a basketball video game connoisseur, having played pretty much every game from the days of NBA Jam and NBA Live 97 (yes the one with Mitch Richmond on the cover!) to today’s next-gen NBA2K series on the Xbox 360. With so much play time invested in playing these titles and honing your skills, some heated competition ensues. Now of course, despite all the technological advancements, video games aren’t an identical replication of actual NBA games, but they try to get pretty damn close. With this in mind, we know its possible to find certain glitches, exploit certain tactics, and just plain play dirty. Now I’m not saying I don’t play dirty myself – you do whatcha gotta do to win – but here is the initial installment of my favorite video game basketball tactics/maneuvers/moments from various titles throughout the years…

NBA Jam – To my best recollection, Bill Laimbeer was never in this game. So why the hell is it necessary to constantly hold down turbo and throw ‘bows and push people when you didn’t have the ball? Pure nonsense… a Flagarant 2 should’ve been called everytime I tried to drive on the opposition. Be a man and try to lock me down on D by stripping me or blocking my shot… no need for the fisticuffs – there were plenty of other things to make this game great.

NBA Jam – One of those little things that made it great had to be the “halftime show” they put together. Sure, on the next-gen consoles we may have fancy halftime shows with hot cybermodels jiggling their desirable parts, but NBA Jam’s halftime show was pure brilliance. All it consisted of were two small low-resolution highlight clips featuring two players synonymous with 90′s hoops. The first clip was a standard Scottie Pippen highlight. The second, however, was pure gold. A bespectacled Horace Grant drives the lane for a bucket, proceeds to charge at the camera, and executes an emphatic celebratory arm pump. You knew damn well it was halftime when you saw that arm pump. It was on.

NBA Jam – My final NBA Jam reflection is a grievance about team/player selections. There were essentially two ways to play this game – bombing away from 3-point land or jamming on every possesion. You picked your gameplan and chose a team with a suitable player to carry this out. However, there was always some dick who would play with the Orlando Magic and just rain 3′s on you with Scott Skiles and slam it down your throat with Nick Anderson. OUT OF COMMON DECENCY YOU ONLY PLAY ONE STRATEGY – C’MON NOW. There was also the matter of inputting codes and unlocking the likes of Adrock and Mike D, the Phoenix Suns Gorilla, and the Clintons (yes the presidential ones, not the Parliament Funkadelic one). Every secret player had maxed out attributes, so it really wasn’t much of a contest if someone pulled this on you.

Many more to come… stay tuned!