After his epic win over Roger Federer at Wimbledon, racqueteer Rafael Nadal subjected his new hardware to his strange tradition of the trophy bite. Not many people know where this originated from, but here is some totally unfounded speculation that you can pretend to pass off as fact:

1. Reality Check

The powers that be of the worldwide tennis institution are a stingy bunch. Nadal is smart to in fact verify the composition of each prize. No one wants to go five sets against Federer only to get some flimsy aluminum.

2. Mineral Deficiency

With as busy of a schedule as Rafael’s, what with winning the French Open and now Wimbledon, its tough to find time to run out to the store for a fresh supply of Flintstones vitamins. Anemia is not conducive to being a champion. Nadal needs his iron.

3. Claiming His Property

No one’s gonna want that thing if it has my bite marks on it, right? Furthermore, if Federer tries to steal this latest Wimbledon trophy to pass off as his own, the dental records will always prove otherwise…

4. Teething

Nadal is a youngin, having just turned 22 last month. I’m no pediatrician, but perhaps its time for his deciduous teeth? From the angle of his bite, it is likely that his lateral incisors are coming in. (Kudos to Wikipedia for the dental jargon)

5. ¡Muy Delicioso!

Trophies are a delicacy in any culture, and they go great with sangria! There’s sure to be plenty of it flowing after Nadal’s first Wimbledon championship. Congrats, kid!

Ohhh the joys of having DVR.

During last night’s UFC 86 event, Josh Koscheck took on Chris Lytle in a welterweight bout.

Lytle was getting bloodied all over the place, having his head smeared on the ground, turning Koscheck’s dreamy blonde locks pink, but best of all even managed to get his blood on the camera.

Going back in super slow motion, twas amazing to see the exact Koscheck punch that splattered one of the ringside cameras with blood. Definitely, definitely memorable.

Tsarist subjects, today is May 1st. Not just any old Thursday, not Alfonso Soriano’s return to the Chicago Cubs lineup, but something far more important: RSS Awareness Day!

For those not in the know, RSS stands for Rich Site Summary. It’s the little orange broadcasty icon you see on all your favorite blogs, including this one. Yes that’s right - middle column here - top of page - Spread Tsarist Dictum via RSS. My witty attempt to try and develop readership.

RSS feeds are a great way to stay up on a lot of blogs at once. You click the little orange button or subscribe via e-mail (also available on this page) and every blog post from every site you subscribe to will get delivered to one easily accessible location.

I personally swear by Google Reader. I use a GMail account and can access the latest posts on my favorite blogs wherever I go this way. There are other options as well, such as having them sent to whatever e-mail address you prefer, viewing them in your web browser, or downloading RSS software. For more specific info, check out this goodness.

Anyways, SUBSCRIBE TO MY RSS FEED, DAMMIT. It’s simple, easy, and other non-threatening adjectives as well. A highly recommended way to stay current with the blogosphere. DO IT.