The NFL season has come and gone, and I am happy to say that I enjoyed this one more than any other in the past. It was not only because I cheered on a new team, but it was because I understood and appreciated the game so much more than I did before. For that, I can at least partially thank A Few Seconds of Panic by Stefan Fatsis.

You can practically hear a hamstring rip

Fatsis got the opportunity to go through training camp and the preseason with the Denver Broncos. While he may not have lined up behind center like George Plimpton in Paper Lion, Fatsis certainly managed to give an in-depth and real account of what it means to play professional football.

Given his background in soccer as a youth, Fatsis decided to continue down the kicking route, lining up field goals under the tutelage of Jason Elam. But just getting there was tough enough. Apparently, kicking a football isn’t as easy as it appears. And neither is punting. Or even merely dropping the ball down to punt. Stefan’s journey is almost overwhelming when he describes how much there is to interpret, understand, and execute when it comes to the simplest of tasks on the field.

But this book is about much more than just kicking. Everyone and everything is seemingly connected on the field and in the locker room. You follow the trials and tribulations of fledgling backup quarterback Bradlee Van Pelt, the comeback of a veteran lineman like Adam Meadows, or the never ending struggle to keep up with Demetrin Veal.

Fatsis goes even further to shed light on head coach Mike Shanahan, who was known to run one of the most strict regimes in the entire sport. From the playbook to the boardroom, no stone is left unturned.

The ultimate goal of the experience seemed to have been to kick a field goal in a live environment. With the rush coming and nerves frayed. While Mr. Fatsis may have felt panicked in this very moment, his documentation of the experience, through hilarious anecdotes and intricate detail, will leave you a smarter, more sophisticated, and more appreciative of a fan.

Here is my hungover Saturday morning attempt at a piece of pop culture street art, as requested by Puck Daddy. If I don’t even get a retweet out of this, I will be indescribably irate over the extra sleep I gave up to attempt to make this happen:

By some odd stroke of luck, Rex Ryan has taken his New York Jets all the way to the AFC Championship game. You can just tell he’s hungry for a Super Bowl ring sausaged Frosted Flakes.

Hey I tried. Them chin layers weren’t easy.

WHO DAT? WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM SAINTS?

Yes, that phrase is still considered English, and it is the rallying cry of freshly minted undefeated juggernauts, the New Orleans Saints.

The Saints are legit. With my fantasy football boyfriend Drew Brees leading the charge accompanied by a beastly running attack and inspired defense, this could very well be an epic season.

What better way to embrace this than with some local team gear? The iconic fleur-de-lis AND the Batman logo? All that’s missing is a set of exposed Mardi Gras bosoms to complete the cycle of awesome.

To a new-found NFL fan living in Los Angeles, fandom doesn’t come easy. I have no team to identify with but collegiate USC, and only because I am bedding a Trojan. This leaves me as a highly coveted free agent fan. Brees is my fantasy keeper, Reggie Bush is a local hero, and this team stands for all that is good (maybe?). I am officially pledging my allegiance, donning said shirt, and finally embracing the fandom I have yearned for.

Twas the week before Madden
And all across the net
Coverboys were nervous
And couldn’t help but fret

Madden 10 hits store shelves next week, and few people can talk about the release of Madden without talking about a phenomenon surrounding its cover athletes.

The cover athletes have been hot topics every year since perception is that they tended to have off years and fall victims to the Madden Curse. But how poorly do they really do? Is the curse even real? The numbers will surely tell all…

To preface, the cover athletes (outside of Ray Lewis, who I omitted for the sake of homogeneous data) have all been either running backs or quarterbacks, so I will be looking at Rushing Yards/Rushing TDs/Fumbles and Passing Yards/Passing TDs/INTs respectively. While this analysis is far from perfect, it more or less cuts right to the chase.

Madden NFL 2001 – Eddie George

My what happy times these were. George was the first solo cover athlete and there was still no talk of any such curse. With that, it took an extra year for the effect to kick in. In his cover year, George rushed for a career best 1509 yards, 14 TDs, and 5 fumbles. But the curse then struck in 2001 to the tune of a drop-off to 939 yds, 5 TDs, 8 fumbles.

Bottom Line: -38% yds, -65% TDs, +60% fumbles

Madden NFL 2002 – Daunte Culpepper

Daunte was proclaimed the next big thing after a rookie year singing to the tune of 3937 passing yds, 33 TDs, and 16 INTs. Sophomore slump or cover jinx? He slipped to 2612 yds, 14 TDs, 13 INTs in his cover year.

Bottom Line: -33% yds, -58% TDs, -19% INTs

Madden NFL 2003 – Marshall Faulk

Marshall had a string of amazing years, culminating with 1382 yds, 12 TDs, and 3 fumbles in 2001. And then came 2002, his cover year, and the beginning of the end. Faulk dropped off to 953 yds, 8 TDs, and 4 fumbles. This would be an even more startling decline if his receiving TDs were taken into account. But alas, I’m too lazy.

Bottom Line: -31% yds, -33% TDs, +33% fumbles

Madden NFL 2004 – Michael Vick

This may have been what REALLY ignited the Madden Curse fire. 4 days after the release of Madden 2004, Vick broke his leg during a preseason game and only played 5 games at season’s end. The season prior, Vick racked up 2936 yds, 16 TDs (plus 8 rushing TDs, of course), and 8 INTs. Vick never quite reached those statistical achievements again. His first full year after the injury, he came back with 2313 yds, 14 TDs, and 13 INTs (not to mention only 3 rushing TDs).

Bottom Line: -21% yds, -13% TDs, +63% INTs

Madden NFL 2006 – Donovan McNabb

McNabb had a career year in 2004, amassing 3875 yds, 31 TDs, and 8 INTs. However, he too fell victim to the curse and played 6 fewer games due to season-ending injury. Either way, his final line of 2507 yds, 16 TDs, and 9 INTs wasn’t going to surpass his previous season.

Bottom Line: -35% yds, -48% TDs, +13% INTs

Madden NFL 2007 – Shaun Alexander

The 2005 season was legendary for Alexander. It was one in which he earned league MVP honors, broke records, and led his team to the Super Bowl. Along the way, he victimized NFL defenses with 1880 yds, 27 TDs, and 5 fumbles. During the following year, he was plagued by a foot injury sustained in Week 3 that caused him to miss several starts and never regain top form. He went for 896 yds, 7 TDs, and 6 fumbles.

Bottom Line: -52% yds, -74% TDs, +20% fumbles

Madden NFL 2008 – Vince Young

Vince Young was highly touted coming out of college, and fared well enough in his first NFL season, netting 2199 yds, 12 TDs, and 13 INTs. Still huffing those college fumes, EA Sports must have figured he would improve on this and gave him the cover in 2007. Vince responded with 2546 yds, 9 TDs, and 17 INTs. Looks like they may have been singing his praises a little too soon.

Bottom Line: +16% yds, -25% TDs, +31% INTs

Madden NFL 2009 – Brett Favre

When Favre was named the cover athlete for Madden 09, everyone thought the curse was over. After all, how could it affect a retired player? But just as everyone was forgetting about the curse, Favre goes ahead and unretires and links up with the New York Jets. Despite his advanced age, Favre still consistently performed at a high level, putting up 4155 yds, 28 TDs, and 15 INTs in 2007. As quarterback of the Jets, he only managed 3472 yds, 22 TDs, and 22 INTs. Many thought to just chalk it up to learning a new offense and adjusting to a new team. Or was it the curse?

Bottom Line: -16% yds, -21% TDs, +47% INTs

Conclusion

The overall bottom line supports the argument for existence of the curse. On average, each cover athlete took a dip of -26% in respective yardage, -42% in respective TDs, and had their negative stats (INTs and fumbles) go +31%.

So what will that mean for this year’s crop of cover talent?

Unprecedented!

Not only are there two athletes this year, but one is a defensive player (Troy Polamalu) and the other is a receiver (Larry Fitzgerald). Perhaps EA Sports did their own research similar to mine and is mixing it up to prevent tampering with the players. Is the curse officially over?

After owning the book for a couple of years now and much delayed reading, I finally got a chance to enjoy James Surowiecki‘s The Wisdom of Crowds. Not sure why it took me so long to get around to it. I definitely picked it up and started reading on multiple occasions, only to get sidetracked and ultimately starting from the beginning the next time I gave it a shot. And while it has been a few years since the original publication of the book, pretty much everything inside withstands the test of time.

On the surface, it’s a non-fiction work presenting many psychological and economic topics and theories. Come to think of it, this may have been what kept me away for a while, since I was on a fairly heavy fiction binge. Time to break the habit sooner or later, I suppose.

Surowiecki argues throughout that a group’s collective decision making is better and more accurate than it’s individuals, no matter how smart those individuals are. When groups act together, they typically have the greater good in mind and collaborate to produce more accurate, effective, meaningful information and results.

So how does any of this cross over into the world of sports? Well, the book is chock full of examples, stories, and anecdotes that strengthen the argument, provide counterpoints, and just serve to entertain.

NFL Decision Making

As wise as crowds may be, sometimes they act against logical, conventional wisdom. Tradition certainly plays a part in this, and it’s as true in the NFL as anywhere else.

Surowiecki cites, as an example, Super Bowl XXXVI. The St. Louis Rams were favored over the New England Patriots. Being critiqued were the conservative, yet conventional play calls by head coach Mike Martz. Martz kept opting to kick field goals when faced with 4th down situations. In the early going, the Rams got 3 points this way, but failed to convert a field goal in another opportunity.

David Romer, a University of California-Berkeley economist, actually devised a method of analyzing the best 4th down strategy.

He had figured out the value of a first down at every single point on the field

Based on the field position of the Rams when they kicked field goals, the expected values of going for it on 4th down were greater than their chances of kicking the field goals.

Obviously, this fails to take many factors into account such as momentum, but those variables aside, football was reduced to a science. A science that the masses have yet to embrace. Slowly but surely, a system such as this one could be adopted. The same revolution occurred in baseball with Billy Beane and Moneyball, so why not football too? Even when the crowd is wrong, you can trust that they’ll eventually get it right.

Cooperation Problems in Soccer

While crowds truly can be collectively wise, if they are not working together, little is accomplished. This is the crux of the problems with Italian soccer. In what is arguably the greatest take on the matter that I have ever heard, Surowiecki explains that it’s “myopic self-interest” that is to blame for the excessive flopping, whining, and injury-faking that soils Serie A.

It would be in their best interests to simply play a fluid, entertaining game and put on a good show for the fans. After all, they’re the ones buying the tickets and apparel and paying your salaries. It would be mutually beneficial for two teams to not be so self-interested to try and squeak out a 1-0 win, collapsing like a pile of bricks after the slightest semblance of contact so as to get closer to the final whistle.

The Bowling Bubble

We’ve all heard of stock market bubbles in the news. But what exactly are they? Surowiecki explains them as “textbook examples of collective decision making gone wrong.” And it just so happens that bowling, one of America’s pastimes, was the focal point of such a bubble some decades ago.

Bowling took off in the 1950s, as companies such as AMF shifted their focus from war efforts to leisurely ones. The automatic pinsetter was an instant success, and shortly thereafter, bowling alleys were the place to be. The word on Wall Street was that “the popularity of the sport would grow as fast in the future as it did during the fifties, [and] that soon every American would be bowling two hours a week.”

Ask yourself how often you bowl now. Or even when the last time you bowled was. Yeah – looks like that may have been a bit of an overstatement. Shortly after the initial hype, bowling stocks went back down to normal, and the bubble had burst.

Beacons of Hope

Come to think of it, all the sports references in The Wisdom of Crowds were fairly negative ones. They didn’t do much in reaffirming that collective decision making is indeed beneficial. By now your interest must be piqued and surely you want a copy of your own to read. While this was a somewhat tough review to write merely focusing on sports, the book is essential. It is an idea book that belongs on your bookshelf that you will be leafing back through for years to come.

James Surowiecki does an excellent job grabbing and holding the readers attention. From the sports stories I mentioned to others that range from weight-judging contests to how to clothing retailer Zara is gangster, there’s something for everyone. Rest assured that there are plenty of stories and examples of how this thesis works, not just the contradictions I mentioned. You’ll believe in the wisdom of crowds so much that you’ll dive right off a bridge since everyone else is doing it. Well, maybe not, but you’ll at least figure there’s gotta be some pennies down there or something.

I’ve posted a few sports commercials on this site in the past, and I figured it was time to expand upon the topic (even more there are about to be some repeats in here). Here are some of the best I’ve seen so far in 2008:

5. Shaq the Jockey

Shaquille O’Neal and his horse, Chunk of Love, win in a photo finish in this Vitamin Water spot. This originally debuted during the Super Bowl and I’m sure it caught everyone by surprise. Nice touch with the crotch pat at the end.

Note: no horses were euthanized in the making of this commercial.

4. NBA – Where Amazing Happens

This campaign has been going for a while now, but is totally worth mentioning in the top 5. Although the concept has gotten a bit played out as the season has gone on, no one disagrees how great these have been. Even through May, we are still getting some good ones, particularly the spots personalized by athletes, such as this one by Dwight Howard:

Don’t forget Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash‘s questionable haircuts:

We’ve all seen the original spots before, but have you checked out YouTube in the past months? There are countless other versions created by fans that are good unto themselves. The simplicity of the commercials makes it easy for anyone to make their own. Some fans have even taken it upon themselves to do crossover ads into other sports to showcase their favorite teams:

A Philadelphia Eagles example:

Or how about a New York Yankees version recounting moments and figures in their fabled ballpark:

Ok enough of these… you get it. On to the next one…

3. 2008 NBA Playoffs – There Can Only Be One

The original split screen that debuted with Shaq and Kobe was incredible. Everyone knows their history and their story, and it was interesting to see them as one once more. Seeing this definitely got me amped for the playoffs.

Needless to say, several people within the NBA marketing department undoubtedly got huge raises this year for these two ad campaigns.

EDIT: PhDribble just posted this one and I had to include it as well:

Although not as simple as the Where Amazing Happens commercials, these too are clearly customizable and versatile. Hell, its even been extended out to movie advertisement for Adam Sandler’s new flick:

Oh, split screen goodness…

2. Sidney Crosby – League of Clutch

I included this Gatorade spot starring Sidney Crosby in an earlier post, but due to its significance to the sport, I’m placing it this high on the list.

It’s great to see Sid the Kid’s success in this postseason. Hockey is coming back big.

1. Nike Soccer in the first person

Another recent post, I’m still clearly not over this ad.

I’m aware the division is actually Nike Football. I’m a fan of the sport and all, but sorry purists (cough, Devin, cough) – for all intents and purposes, its known as soccer on this site.

Sure its a bit shaky, but Guy Ritchie did good work. This isn’t exactly Cloverfield or anything.

Soak that one in, tsarist subjects. This commercial is pure perfection.

This is nowhere near a complete history of athlete idiocy (that could be an entire book unto itself). Consider this more of a Kenny Mayne-esque incomplete and inaccurate primer on the subject. The following most likely happened in the not too distant past or were so mind boggling that you can’t help but remember them. Anyways…

Carmelo Anthony

My original inspiration for this list. Had I not been as lazy as I have been about blogging lately, this would have been written in a timely fashion around the time of Melo’s DUI. Instead, it just achieved LOLtsar status. Melo prematurely celebrated Denver’s playoff berth – getting pulled over and failing a multitude of sobriety tests.

The Nuggets made the playoffs to face the Lakers. The Staples Center crowd decided to stray from their usual Kobe M-V-P chant to offer this ditty:

Many would say a bit classless, but he deserves it in my mind.

If the Nuggets manage to upset the Lakers in the first round and put together some sort of playoff run, Melo would have to pull a Kobe (see below) and ferry himself between courtroom and basketball court starting May 14th.

Of course, Anthony is no stranger to controversy, having already been found with weed in his backpack at the Denver airport a few years back. However, there will be nobody to take the fall for him this time around.

Kobe Bryant

Since I mentioned him up above I might as well get to him sooner than later.

It pains me to write a blurb about Kobe, as I am a Laker fan and was crushed when the initial allegations surfaced. It was, however, an idiotic position to get yourself into.

What was the issue even? No go on the facial? Anal denial? Whatever it was, Kobe, you could’ve done with it in general. Just put the dick down and focus. You’re an exorbitantly paid athlete.

Rafael Furcal

Staying with the L.A. theme, we move on to Dodgers shortstop Rafael Furcal.

As if one DUI in the ATL wasn’t enough, Furcal picked up a second one as well. Dude had to move in with his mom after that.

Oh well, at least we know dude likes to party. Wikipedia also tells us that his nickname is Fookie.

Tony La Russa

And i guess following the baseball theme we can throw in St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa.

Nothing out of control about this one. La Russa publicly apologized, plead guilty, etc – a class act.

What’s great though, is that he was found asleep at the wheel at a green light with his foot on the brake. He didn’t even respond when the officer on the scene knocked on the window. All he blew was a .093 and he’s passed out? Lightweight.

Pacman Jones

Ohhhh Pacman.

Thank you for bringing the act of making it rain to the mainstream.

During the 2007 NBA All-Star Weekend in Vegas, Pacman was a patron of a strip club. Nelly was also in attendance that night, and was throwing his ones at the dancers as per custom. Pacman decided to join in, letting fly a blizzard of $81,020 of dollar bills.

However, the dancers started to pick the bills up, and that’s when the shit hit the fan. Jones did not take kindly to this. The dancers CLEARLY were not versed in make it rain protocol. THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH THE MONEY. IT’S STILL PACMAN’S MONEY.

Needless to say, security guards were shot, felony charges handed down, and the dancers are still waiting for their tips.

Ray Lewis

The year: 2000
The place: Super Bowl afterparty
The crime: RAY LEWIS STABBED SOMEONE TO DEATH

Despite some pretty compelling evidence (his accomplices saying they stabbed theirs (there were 2 victims) and a dumped white suit soaked in blood), Lewis eventually got off the hook. He wasn’t even suspended by the NFL.

I wish I was a star athlete…

This blog template and lack of ads to make money off of you all is irritating me. As a result, I have been too lazy to post much. Fuck it…

Blog babble aside, let us move on to the issues at hand: Super Bowl XLII

Let me start off by saying, HAHAHAHAHA

I am not a Giants or Patriots fan. Nor am I even anti-Patriots anti-dynasty like many out there. It would’ve been epic to see them go 19-0 and be able to say that it happened in our lifetime.

However, seeing a dejected Tom Brady was priceless. It’s as if he knew he was going to win, and then when a retard-strong Eli Manning threw a TD pass to Top Five candidate Plaxico Burress, Brady’s world was turned upside down. As much as anyone celebrated at the time, everyone knew it wasn’t the end. Tom Brady game-winning drives are stuff of legend, and people sure as hell knew there could potentially be something special brewing.

But for whatever reason, Brady had already conceded defeat. Taking the field for the final drive, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Aborted was the season-long efficient Patriots offense that spread the field, involved everyone, and was able to get the yardage and result needed. Granted, the Giants defense had smothered him all game, led by a gapey-grinning, flexing Michael Strahan, but were the deep bombs really necessary that soon? Field goal range was all they needed to force overtime, but instead Brady hoisted hail mary after hail mary to seal the outcome.

Whatever the reasoning, at least it assured this: many an undernourished, underprivileged African youth will be sporting “Patriots Super Bowl XLII Champions” hats and learning English from the almost-bestseller “19-0: The Historic Championship Season of the Unbeatable Patriots” – pulled straight off of Amazon and dumped into the third world.

At least 18-1 will prove to be a great humanitarian effort.