The baseball-loving world is in an uproar over Armando Galarraga‘s perfect game being taken away by a bad call by umpire Jim Joyce.

Yes, Joyce had it in his power to end it then and there, and the replays certainly prove that. But at the same time, what was shortstop Jason Donald doing busting his ass at that point of the game?

While some may commend such hustle, I call it being selfish. The young shortstop was recently called up to take the place of Asdrubal Cabrera, who was smart enough to break his arm and not have to endure the majority of the season with the lowly Cleveland Indians. But what the hell is he doing barreling down the line with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, playing for a cellar dweller? Donald just HAD to chase individual glory by recording an infield single to go 1-3 for the game.

From a franchise that reared the uninspired base-running prowess of Manny Ramirez into the league, I would expect much better.

If you happened to cruise by ESPN.com earlier this afternoon, you would have been subject to this sheer brilliance of a headline promoting the Philadelphia Phillies against the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 1 of the NLCS:

Yes, we get it. You’re talking about the bullpens. And yes, they proved critical in the game, as George Sherrill gave up a 3-run homer to Raul Ibanez that ultimately won the game and caused me to contemplate burning my jersey t-shirt. The bullpen misadventure known as Brad Lidge then hung on for the save, and that was that.

But honestly, how could you think of anything other than this classic SNL sketch upon seeing that headline? And especially with Chase Utley shoving his very own penis mightier results right at you through the screen?

Well done, ESPN editors. Even though my team lost, this kinda made up for it.

BUCK FUTTER!

Edit: I just realized someone beat me to the punch with this one. But screw it, I was at work and didn’t have the time til now to write this up, plus it’s already written. Just enjoy the video twice and quit whining.

There’s gotta be some sort of unwritten rules regarding charging the mound in a baseball game, right? If you really feel so slighted that you wanna take it out on the offending pitcher, you gotta be ready to take on the whole team. That’s just the nature of the beast.

Sure, we’re all entertained when a player does something out of the ordinary like use his equipment to his advantage, but in the grand scheme of baseball fights, that’s just plain cowardly. Here are 5 of the biggest acts of baseball fight cowardice:

5. Kevin Youkilis Throws His Helmet

Youk looks like a pretty menacing guy but was taken down several notches by Ricky Porcello. Not only did Youkilis go for the helmet heave, but he ended up getting taken down by the pitcher anyways. Double fail.

4. Izzy Alcantara Kicks The Catcher

While this does look fairly awesome, it violates the fundamental rule of baseball fighting: you’re in it alone. Come to think of it, you really gotta be a five tool player to engage in the perfect fight. Enough speed to outrun the catcher, good arm to throw punches, good power to take out the pitcher. Obviously, Izzy lacks the speed tool.

3. Chan Ho Park Knows Karate

Some pitcher-on-pitcher action here as Chan Ho Park takes offense at the rough tag by Tim Belcher. I guess he’s not technically charging the mound, but I mean really? A jump kick to the head? The initial shove was a good beginning, but finish things off like a man. A Western, baseball-loving man.

2. Bert Campaneris Throws His Bat

This is just scary. Kinda surprising that it happened in such a high stakes game in the 1972 AL Championship Series. Did Bert even attempt to charge the mound afterwards? Or did he just say ‘Oh the hell with this, he’s not even worth charging. I’m taking him out from here.’

1. Jose Offerman Swings Away

This one reminds me of Stewie’s observations about baseball on Family Guy:

Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me.

Someone get the little diabolical genius a Jose Offerman jersey, pronto.

Now that I’ve written a fancy headline, I feel free to express my true feelings about the acquisition of George Sherrill by my Los Angeles Dodgers and his pitching debut yesterday: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In case you missed it, the Brim Reaper was brought on in the 7th inning with 2 runners on and no outs. He quickly dispatched Nate McLouth and Kelly Johnson via strikeout.

All Sherrill has done is come in and look … electric

Chipper Jones came up batting right handed and was eventually pitched around, and up came Brian McCann with the bases loaded. One swing would’ve tied the game, but Sherrill wasn’t gonna have any of that. With a 2-2 count, Sherrill throws a sick breaking ball that nicks the high inside corner, and McCann is sent packing.

Crisis averted with style. Welcome to Dodgertown, George.

I guess I was already somewhat attached to Sherrill since he’s on my fantasy team, but after watching this video over and over, my feelings are strengthened and reaffirmed. So much so that I bought a Sherrill jersey t-shirt in extra baggy XXL. Now I just gotta make sure I have the matching flat bill and I’ll be in business. Yeah, it’s serious.

Well, this endorsement is certainly new to the at least, but everyone suspected it has been happening for quite some time now. Boston Red Sox slugger David Ortiz was named on a list of juicers today. Shocker!

Get it?! It’s an anagram! Ohhhh so clever.

We should’ve seen this all along. David Ortiz the avid roidz user. With an extraneous T for the trademarked brand. And another problematic M that surfaces after that. Just pretend that one never happened for the sake of anagramic integrity.

Instructions:

Take twice daily after leaving Minnesota
Smile for the masses so they never suspect a thing
Reserve comment

Does being a spokesman for drugs make you a drug dealer? Maybe just an accessory. Either way, sorry for outing the endorsement then, Papi. I guess you’ve got bigger problems on your plate than that though.

So the Los Angeles Dodgers have finally hit the mini skids. They have lost more than 2 straight games for the first time in 124 games. On top of that, Dodgertown is growing anxious as neither Roy Halladay nor Cliff Lee have donned our uniform. And who are we taking it out on? Why our budding young ace Chad Billingsley of course!

Whenever anything goes wrong, it is seemingly Chad who gets the blame. Yes, he buckled under pressure last year in the NLCS against Cole Hamels and the Philadelphia Phillies. Also keep in mind that he was just 24 years old then (by the way, happy birthday today Chad), yet everyone expects him to pitch like Orel Hershiser in a Game 7.

Bills took a gem into the 6th inning last night but then it fell apart on him. Keep in mind that the greatest obstacle for any young player, regardless of the sport, is inconsistency. And even that notwithstanding, the man has carried us for two seasons now. why does he suddenly become trade bait when aging veterans are on the market around the deadline?

The Dodgers are in great shape. Built for the postseason (see: entire lineup, Bills, Kershaw, Kuroda, Wolf) with the betting odds in our favor, we will be a force to be reckoned with for years to come. With Billingsley at the helm leading the way. You’ll be glad he remained a Dodger well after Halladay and Lee have retired.

Didn’t your mother teach you that it was rude to point at people? That especially goes for using laser pointers on athletes during play. But mothers be damned, that didn’t stop someone from doing it anyways this past weekend at a Philadelphia Phillies game.

Around the 7th inning, a green dot started dancing across the faces of several St. Louis Cardinals. At first, lesser players like Julio Lugo simply called time to collect themselves, eventually being victimized by the tactics and returning to the dugout. And then Albert Pujols came to bat. How dare someone try to point at Prince Albert. This aggression will not stand!

Security launched an investigation in the stands to find the culprit, but failed. It had to have been a fan in one section, right? There couldn’t possibly be any conspiracy or foul play, could there? But what if there were multiple pointers, throwing off the efforts of security personnel?

Video evidence shows the green dot dancing on Albert’s face, so it must have been pointed by someone on the right side of the ballpark, seeing as how he is a right handed hitter.

Since the culprit was not found in the stands, perhaps it was Jayson Werth out on the grassy knoll in right field?

Or perhaps it was the manager himself, Charlie Manuel, shrouded in cover in the book depository, employing some Belichickian tactics to give his team the edge.

Maybe it was just the weekend, but this story seems to have gotten very little attention thus far. It reeks of inside jobs, cover-ups, and conspiracies. Ahh screw it. Who are we kidding? It was probably just this guy all along:

Special thanks to Flip Flop Flyin, whose Minipops I used in my diagram. Pujols was a perfect fit, but I had to paint Tom Gordon white in order to make Jayson Werth. Whatever, it worked out!

Pablo Sandoval:
The epitome of all that is ‘I Can Has Cheezburger”

Despite being left off the final roster for the National League for the All-Star game, Pablo continued to rake. This three-run homer provided plenty of added run support for Jonathan Sanchez, as he coasted to notch baseball’s first no hitter of the season.

Perhaps Sandoval should’ve just been playing all of his games at catcher and gotten on the All-Star team that way. He sure would’ve had a pretty big edge over Yadier Molina of all people.

I couldn’t believe my buddy Jeff’s claims about this guy before the season. No one knew who he was, but he said that he would literally be hitting .330. Dude was even sporting the jersey t-shirt before the season started. Now THAT’S commitment.

I remember a Dodger game I attended 2 years ago with my friends Alex, David, and Alex’s father. Anyways, we took this picture at the game:

A brief explanation for those who are unaware:

That game was part of a Los Angeles Dodgers-San Francisco Giants series when Barry Bonds was closing in on the HR record. a website provided Alex with Bondsfolds and a foam asterisk and instructions to ruin Bonds’ night. Long story short, he didn’t get the record that series. Barry would go on the set the record against the Washington Nationals at home later that season.

I also remember wearing a shirt celebrating the Mitchell Report with my friend and lifelong Dodger fan Alex.

Anyways, the reason I’m bringing these two situations up is because of this:

I heard an ad on the radio the other day celebrating the return of Manny Ramirez from his 50 game suspension for violating MLB’s substance abuse policy. Now, I don’t know if he was using hCG to mask any sort of PED or if he was unaware of what it was, but I find it hard for a guy who already has 3 sons born over an 11 year span to be in need of a fertility drug. I also find it hard to believe a baseball player of his caliber wouldn’t be going to a doctor who knew what he was allowed to have in his body. But that’s just me.

Now, I’ve got a really strong feeling Manny is a cheater. I’m not going to dance around with what his doctors could say. this is what i think, just putting it out there.

There were countless Dodger fans in San Diego this past weekend to cheer on Manny. Many of these same Dodger fans are the ones who were booing Bonds 2 years ago. Then again, Bonds was never suspended for violating the substance abuse policy. Maybe if Barry was suspended from baseball for 50 games, they would celebrate his return like he discovered a cure for cancer.

I guess it just depends what team the player plays for.

For added fun, here’s an LA Times YouTube clip of Matt Kemp‘s reaction to Manny’s return. Check out the related videos to see more player reactions.

I’m kinda bummed there’s no reaction from Juan Pierre.

Don’t make Brox angry. You wouldn’t like his 102mph heat when he’s angry…

Los Angeles Dodgers behemoth closer Jonathan Broxton storms off the mound after mowing down the Arizona Diamondbacks to cap off a comeback win. Still sittin’ pretty atop the standings.