It’s Day 2 of Sport’s Tsar’s NCAA Mega First Round Preview and on the docket is the West region. Let’s go ahead and hop on in.
1 Michigan St. vs. 16 Long Island U.
Yawn, boring. No 16 seed has ever beaten a 1 seed and we are all supposed to remember how great of a coach Tom Izzo is come March. This game was decided the second the committee scheduled it. Of course this is a pick for Michigan St., but it should be noted that Tom Izzo is also saying they’re fine despite being in a bracket 225 miles from home. I’m sure this match-up helped ease the pain.
8 Memphis vs 9 St Louis
Rick Marjerus has taken a team to the tournament for the first time since 2007. This is supposed to be a big fact and Sports Blog Law has demanded that I mention that at least once. Now to get to the serious matters at hand: have you seen Saint Louis’s logo? What the hell is a Billiken? I think it’s some kind of troll but I’m not sure. Are there a lot of trolls in the St. Louis area? I’m pretty confused. Memphis is going to lose this game, putting SLU in the spotlight and forcing them to explain what the hell is going on.
5 New Mexico vs. 12 Long Beach St.
Long Beach St. is my mid-major set to make a big splash this tournament. They’ve got an extremely underrated player in Casper Ware and a good group of seniors which seems to be a rare commodity in college basketball these days (Education Counts!). Also, their arena looks like the Luxor Hotel in Vegas. That has to count for something in March Madness.
4 Louisville vs 13 Davidson
Rick Pitino is pretty much a scumbag. That much is known. So we’ll define the entire Louisville team by that fact. Davidson on the other hand, is in its first tournament since Stephen Curry led them to the Elite Eight. Davidson won the Southern Conference this season and Louisville won the Big East tournament. Last team to win the Big East tournament? UConn, who went on to win a national title. Do you believe is destiny?
6 Murray State vs 11 Colorado St.
Murray State started the year 23-0 and were the big story in college basketball until losing to Tennessee St, a loss they later avenged in the Ohio Valley Conference tournament. The state of Colorado had a big year in basketball with both University of Colorado and Colorado St. making the tournament. Even Colorado School of Mines made it to the Central Region Final for NCAA Division II Men’s Basketball. Yes, it seems like things are looking up in the Centennial State. Heck, even Peyton Manning is rumored to be looking at signing with the Broncos. Something big is happening in Colorado, so I advise going to the nearest Sports Betting website and putting all the money you’ve ever owned on the Denver Barbarians of the Rugby Super League to win the Division II Rugby 7′s title this year. It’s a lock.
Play-in Game: BYU vs. Iona
It was considerate of the selection committee to place BYU in this region with the play-in game. Under this set-up, the BYU players won’t have to be 27 year old grown men with families play on Sunday. I don’t think it’s going to matter though. I’ve got Iona. Iona scores a lot of points. And if I learned anything from BYU last year, the only person allowed to shoot is Jimmer Freddette, who currently plays for the Sacramento Kings of the NBA. Going to be pretty difficult for Mr. Freddette to be shooting EVERY shot he sees for both teams but then again, I’ll never underestimate the power of Mormons.
7 Florida vs. 10 Virginia
I don’t really know how good Florida is. I didn’t know that Virginia plays basketball until this column. Both teams have been dealing with a lot of injuries, so this one is up in the air. I really don’t want to pick a team but I guess Florida because when I went to Florida, I got to go to Disneyworld and Kennedy Space Center. In Virginia, I went to a tourist attraction that still thinks we live in the colonial times. Oh, and the woman was using poop to fix her walls. Mickey Mouse beats Poop Decor any day of the week.
2 Missouri vs 15 Norfolk St.
I really can’t stand the SEC chants from the Missouri fans. You don’t start raving about your new girlfriend to your ex-girlfriend. Unless you’re a big enough of a douche bag to make a rap song about yourselves utilizing more auto-tune that a T-Pain/Ke$ha mixtape. Oh wait, Missouri IS that douche bag! Seriously, you don’t see SEC schools doing that. Oh wait. You know what SEC and Missouri? You deserve each other.
That’s it for the West. Tomorrow I’ll bring the Midwest Region, featuring Kansas, one of the 3 teams I watched this season!
