Photoshopping NBA Free Agency

by George on July 2, 2009

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A year ago, I handicapped the summer’s NBA free agent class. The photoshop jobs were bad, and the predictions were even worse. Well, save for the far fetched Ron Artest MLE scenario that managed to play itself out this year.

Without further ado, some more horrendous photoshops of what this year’s free agent class may have in store:

Carlos Boozer, Cleveland Cavaliers

Cleveland Cavaliers Carlos Boozer

While Boozer has already said that he would be returning to the Utah Jazz next season, we must take it with a grain of salt given his prior offseason indiscretions. Carlos may well end up screwing over the Jazz as he originally screwed over the Cleveland Cavaliers, except this time he’ll be off to Cleveland to make things right. Utah can’t stay mad at him for making right on his original promise, can they?

Allen Iverson, Charlotte Bobcats

Charlotte Bobcats Allen Iverson

Iverson, being the deft observer that he is, picks up on the fact that head coach Larry Brown has clearly stopped extolling the virtues of practice. Charlotte suddenly seems like the perfect destination for The Answer.

Lamar Odom, Portland Trail Blazers

Portland Trail Blazers Lamar Odom

Pigmentation fail. Photoshop fail. Sticky icky icky WIN, oooooowweeeee! Lamar switches back from sweets to bud, heading up to PDX to find Damon Stoudamire‘s lost brick of weed and get out of the spotlight and relax.

Hedo Turkoglu, New York Knicks

Hedo Turkoglu Zohan hairdresser

Sorry Mike D’Antoni, Hedo wants nothing to do with your actual team. However, he did like what he saw in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan and moves to New York to follow his life’s calling and become a hairdresser.

Shawn Marion, ???

Shawn Marion The Matrix Keanu Reeves

Marion, after bouncing from the Phoenix Suns to the Miami Heat to the Toronto Raptors has had enough. He finally has had enough and embraces what he truly is. Next time you see him, he’ll be running the fast break with Keanu and dunking on Agents in The Matrix.

  • http://kneejerknba.blogspot.com/ KneeJerkNBA

    The big-head Odom takes me back to NBA Jam days.

  • http://sportstsar.com/ George

    Horrible editing job, but it rings so true. Also, I’m sad to report that my recent trip to Lake Oswego produced no unaccompanied bricks of weed on kitchen counters.