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Having been dubbed an American ”soccer-head,” I feel like this Confederations Cup post, which comes to you on the eve of the tourney’s final, is well overdue…
For years, people have been asking me, “when is soccer going to arrive in America?” And for as many years, I have entertained this question withpolite and humble answers. Now, let me take my gloves off and give you the truth. Stop awaiting “the arrival” of soccer! The U.S. Soccer Foundation has been around since 1913; AYSO was developed in 1964; NASL came around in 1968; MLS has been around for 16 fucking years; we hosted a World Cup in 1994 for Christ’s sake; project-40 has been helping develop pro-soccer players in the US since 1997; the U.S. Women’s National Team won the World Cup in 1999; we advanced to the round 0f 8 in Korea of 2002 and proved to the world that we are the best that CONCACAF has to offer; in April of 2006, FIFA ranked the U.S. Men’s National Team as the 4th best national team; and the other day, we snapped Spain’s 35-game unbeaten streak. -Evidently soccer’s “arrival” is just a figurative way to reference the possibility of soccer becoming a major sport in the US, because so far as I can see, soccer literally arrived a long time ago.
And to kick it in Layman’s terms, American soccer is a grassroots movement, not a prayer for a savior. We hyped up Pele and Beckham, respectively, as they played professionally in the States, and it didn’t work out. Americans and soccer-heads alike confused celebrity withthe reality of athletics. There was a misconception that if a US-based side signed a superstar that somehow the US would be a soccer powerhouse. But in truth, we have the import-export equation set backward; the way we should gauge the progress of American soccer is by counting the number of American citizens, groomed by the MLS, who sign pro contracts with European clubs. I don’t give a fuck if Messi or Ronaldo sign with Real Salt Lake. It would be a tree falling in the woods. The MLS, subsequently, must be seen for what it is, a developmental league and not a showcase of world-class footballers. Our mediocre professional league is a bridge that a select number of Americans take across the pond; when they get to the banks of Europe, their contracts eand the number of spectators watching them on the pitch are increased by like a, like a lot.
As for tomorrow, we have Howard, Feilhaber, Bradley (though out with suspension), Altidore, Onyewu, Adu, Bocanegra, Dempsey, etc., playing club abroad while rocking it for us in international play. Hardened by the arduous battles entailed in playing “the world’s game” in the “lion’s den,” we have a set of professionals that have quietly put themselves at the doorsteps of legitimate football hardware. (Sorry, I’m rather drunk now). Perhaps we spent too much time talking about Beckham and Posh Spice joining the L.A. Galaxy and not enough time discussing the progress of our youths signing fatter contracts elsewhere in the world, where they play true ballers in front of real fans.
Saddened when I should be the happiest – I can’t stand watching the American media pretend to care about our guys kicking ass in South Africa. Let me try to make up for what you hear. Seeing as the Confederations Cup has been called a “dress rehearsal” for next year’s World Cup, such lame phraseology, it might be nice to hear that the US has advanced to the round of 16, round of 8, and the semi-finals the last three times that they have participated in a World Cup that was not hosted in Europe. I’ll try to rephrase that. When the World Cup is not hosted in Europe, USA kicks ass. This Confederations Cup is in South Africa; the US is in the final. Next year’s World Cup is in South Africa. The US is going to kick ass, make it to the round of 16 (guaranteed).
Really drunk now. I’m going to say it. Americans hate soccer just as they secretly hate everything that is not American. Fucking idiots talk about the tie-breaker system like it is a foreign language when it’s just simple math. Try telling a foreigner what a balk is in baseball. Try telling a foreigner what intentional grounding implies. Americans hate soccer, calling it too complicated (what, kicking a ball into a mother-fucking net?), because Americans are close-minded people. You don’t have to like soccer. But maybe, just maybe Americans can cope with the fact that fellow Americans are out there on the pitch, giving it their all till the final whistle. People make me sick…
Whatever happened to “two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate” AYSO soccer? Those half-time oranges and full-time Capri Suns we all grew up with? When 25 Americans defy all odds, we “soccer-heads” have to listen to the ill informed apologists in the media pretend that they follow our squad.
No. No. No. Godspeed, Team USA! Win or lose, you are our team!!!
