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If you blinked you might have missed it. Euro 2008 came and went in surprisingly quiet fashion. There were no fan riots, police attacks, tear-gas incidents, or public outcries. Perhaps this can be attributed to neutral-friendly Switzerland hosting the shindig, but no matter…the tournament was a remarkable success on many fronts. Here’s a look at some key moments and thoughts going into next season:
1. Spain’s Breaking Out
Say what you will about the Spanish style of flair and finesse, but their brand of footie just won-out against the decidedly bulkier and more physical Germans. All credit to Luis Arragones, their 113 year-old coach, who spent his time downing Ensure and master-minding one of the more brilliant strategies in recent history (bringing superstar Cesc Fabregas off the bench, dropping Captain Raul before the tournament).
2. “El Nino”
If you saw it, you’ll not soon forget it. The goal that ultimately won the Tournament for La Furia Roja (The Red Fury) was delivered by Fernando Torres in sublime fashion. Turning on the jets at the last minute, he blitzed past Phillip Lahm (no easy task) and slotted the ball past the outstretched arms of keeper Jens Lehman. After a slow tournament, El Nino found his stride when it counted, and put a cap on a fantastic first season in England.
3. The Almost Man
To Michael Ballack, and his repeated inability to win the big one. Is there anyone else in professional sports that is more tortured than this guy? Lets see, he misses out on World Cup 2002′s final due to suspension, loses in the Champions League final in 2004, loses in the semi-final of World Cup 2006, loses in the Champions League final in 2008, almost misses and ultimately loses in the Final of Euro 2008. Can the Kaiser Chiefs dedicate a song to him on their next album? He could really use a pick-me-up right about now.
4. Changing of the Guard
To France & Italy, who looked a shadow of their former selves. For teams that just went to the World Cup final in 2006, you’d assume they’d bring their best and rival recent form. Not the case, and they were clearly out-classed by hungrier and more determined squads.
5. The Dutch Enigma
Stop me when this sounds familiar. The Netherlands come roaring out the gates, exposing defenses and scoring goals with relative ease. The press jumps on the bandwagon, mispronouncing names like Arjen Robben and Ruud Van Nistelrooy. The suddenly, they face stiff competition in the form of a strong defense. Their weakness, the back-four, let up and its game over for the Oranje. Another disappointing turn for them. They’ll need to address some long-term issues with regards to age and strength, but more importantly, they need a coach that’s willing to take a gamble here and there to salvage points.
6. Those Geezers from Portugal
Ronaldo Ronaldo Ronaldo. That’s all anyone wants to discuss these days. I however, would only like to say the following: he is going to leave; Manchester United need to buck up and accept the fact that he’s too much of an egomaniac to share the limelight with anyone (Fergie), and they might as well cash in on the transfer fee and buy some expensive replacements. Now, can we put this issue to bed once and for all?
(One more note, Joao Moutinho should be getting looks from a number of major clubs this summer, he has the total package and is much better than the suddenly perfect Andrei Arshavin).
7. From Russia, With Love
You have to tip your hat to them. Guus Hiddink did a master-class job of coaching this young and relatively inexperienced troop to unprecedented success. They were one of the more exciting teams to watch, with their relentless attacking and steadying defensive presence. That Akinfeev is going to be an ace of a keeper in the next three years, book it. Also, Arshavin was a revelation to many, but I dare say that Pavleyuchenko is a more complete player. Without his mazy and persistent runs down the flank, these guys would have been watching from home early on.
8. Can We Get Into the EU Now, Please?
To Turkiye, who were this year’s incarnation of Greece, i.e. the team of inexperienced misfits that bands together in the face of adversity to overachieve for three weeks. Like them or not, they faced a hell of a battle every game with the spate of injuries and suspensions. Is it their fault that they picked up so many unnecessary cards in the group stages? Perhaps. But that’s what you love about their brand of football. Unforgiving and passionate. Their come-from-behind wins provided the perfect backdrop to the overly dramatic and ultimately poetic journey they travelled from beginning to end. Can we drop the ruse now and accept them into the damn EU?
9. Fuck You, Steve McClaren
To England and its fans (mysef included) who had the painstaking pleasure of watching this entire process without the Three Lions. While it was nice not to be innundated with heartwarming vignettes about England’s players and the struggles they all faced growing up on the mean streets of Brixton, I missed my fix of Wayne Rooney‘s ghastly accent, Big-Bird Crouch, Super-Frankie-Lamps, and Captain Terry barking orders from the back line. Here’s hoping the Don Fabio Era yields better results.
10. Transfer-Palooza
International competitions are always a friendly showcase for emerging talent. This year was no different, with the likes of Andrei Arshavin, Marcos Senna, Joao Moutihno, Luka Modric, and others demonstrating their skills. It also servers as a great opportunity for stalwart aging characters to renew interests in their fading careers. Guys like Xavi, Deco, Van Bronckhorst, and Puyol did enough to tempt bigger clubs to splash the cash their way. We’ll handicap all of the transfers towards the end of the summer.
11. Metrosexual All-Stars
To Fernando Torres, Sergio Ramos, Cristiano Ronaldo, Bastian Schewinsteiger, Ricardo Quaresma, Luka Modric, Luca Toni, Mauro Camoranesi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and many more. Thank you for reminding us all of our masculinity. We will pray that the United States doesn’t issue an embargo on hairband exports.
12. Wait, We Have to Play in the Olympics?
To any of the above players that have to lace them up again at the end of the month and compete in the Beijing games. No rest for the weary.
Until next time…
