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The futures of NBA franchises hang in the balance as the names and possible destinations of big-name free agents fly around the web.
Going by popular consensus (along with some off-the-wall choices as well), let’s look at who might be wearing what colors next season, and what those teams will look like:
(Of course, these may all be totally wrong by the time you read this, but enjoy the crappy Photoshopping regardless)
Josh Smith, Philadelphia 76ers
The 76ers fail to bring in Elton Brand, so they try to make a splash with another name by bringing in Slam Dunk Contest champion J-Smoove. Running the fast break with Andre Iguodala on one side and Smith on the other, Andre Miller averages 20 assists per game over the course of the entire season.
Corey Maggette, San Antonio Spurs
After opting out of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers, Xzibit Maggette goes to a real contender with a chance to win. He provides on-again, off-again scoring to make the Spurs offense at least quasi-watchable.
James Posey, New Orleans Hornets
Posey anoints himself Big Shot Pose, proclaims he can win a championship wherever he goes, and vows to take the Hornets to the next level. The Hornets advance to the Finals, but Posey misses half of the deciding game whilst sitting in a KFC drive-thru waiting for his bucket of chicken. Morris Peterson plays in his place, running the team into the ground. By the time a well-fed, content Posey arrives at the arena, it is far too late.
Elton Brand, Golden State Warriors
Brand mistakenly eats some magic mushrooms and, surprising even himself, takes Golden State’s max money, swapping spots with Baron Davis. Apparently it wasn’t as much about winning as it was hooking up with his B.F.F. Stephen Jackson and replicating his chest tattoos.
Ron Artest, Los Angeles Lakers
Merely feigning idiocy, Artest reveals he is actually an accomplished physicist, invents the time machine, and goes back in time one day to indeed opt out of his contract. Negating his previous statements, he signs with the Lakers for the mid-level exception, only to regret his decision.
