Greetings fellow Tsarists. My name is Devin and I, like many of you, am a sports freak. Unlike you, however, I’ve been granted diplomatic immunity (and a 10-year student visa), paving the way for my inaugural post on Russian “web-soil”. What will come to follow over the next few months will be a marginally incoherent yet altogether enjoyable blast of obscure yet pertinent sports jabber. Pleasantries aside…

I count myself as a select member of the American population that gives a damn about ‘futbol’. Yes I said ‘futbol’ and not soccer. You can snicker all you want at me in the supermarket while I wheel my cart down Aisle 6, rocking a vintage Djibril Cisse kit (in the UK, they’re affectionately referred to as kits and not jerseys). You might have been subjected to a slurred yet impassioned defense of Major League Soccer when David Beckham opted to ply the twilight of his career in Los Angeles. It’s also plausible that you, like the majority of this fabled nation, give don’t two shits about anything not involving a wooden bat, LeBron James, or BCS shenanigans. All told, I’m not here to judge.

But for the few out there that care, May 21st can’t come soon enough. That day, my friends, will live in infamy. Allow me a brief side-bar…

I’ve supported one club my entire life. Since I was 13 and stumbled across the beautiful game, I’ve lived by the Chelsea Blues from Fulham London. The Pensioners, as they were once called, were a lovable band of misfits that never quite put it together for an entire season. Each year, the club would come out of the gates roaring, roll off some impressive streak of 9 or 10 wins, and then succumb to a dreaded injury here, or lack of motivation there. For us fans, and there weren’t many then, we became accustomed to the idea of never winning the big one. In our minds, a good year was not getting relegated (more on that in due course).

So just like the ugly chick that buys her own ticket to the prom, we kept our heads down and did our damn thing, until luck would have it we were bought by Roman Abramovich, a Russian oligarch with a penchant for waving at the crowd during home games like a delirious Caesar. Anyhow, he brought his billions with him and overnight, the club became a home to some of the biggest names in the sport. Roman would dole cash out left and right, picking up record transfer fees and securing the services of veritable Hall of Fame talent. It was like winning the lottery. We had the owner, the coach (Jose Mourinho), and the personnel to qualify for the biggest stage of them all, the Champions League.

The Champions League, in essence, is a tournament designed to take the best clubs from each European country and pit them in a elimination-style bracket until two are left standing. For three consecutive years, the boys in blue flamed out in the semi-finals. We were beginning to wonder if there was some sort of hex on us; as if we were destined to be second-best forever. But things have a funny way of working themselves out…

This season hasn’t been pretty. We fired out manager, survived a near-mutiny, replaced key personnel, and somehow, we’re fighting for first place in the league. On top of that, we’ve finally arrived at the mecca. The team itself has banded together behind inspirational skipper (not captain) John Terry, and sensational performances by Michael Essien, Michael Ballack, Frank Lampard, and Joe Cole. We, my friends, have at long last booked a place at the final round and a date with, of all clubs, our bitterest rival, Manchester United. I’ll spare you the venom now, but just know that if you pull for the Blues, you can, under no circumstance, support any and all things Reds.

The date is set for May 21st. The time is to be determined. The location is your local British pub. The offing? An opportunity to witness some of the most inventive, attacking futbol the world can surmise. My reason? Plain and simple joy. Being privy to history as it unfolds. Unrivaled competition, players fighting with everything in their bodies to push their clubs over the top. Two teams enter, one leaves victorious. 9 months of battling culminates in the ultimate orgy of futbol glory.

The love of the game, its everything. Always.

I’ve posted a few sports commercials on this site in the past, and I figured it was time to expand upon the topic (even more there are about to be some repeats in here). Here are some of the best I’ve seen so far in 2008:

5. Shaq the Jockey

Shaquille O’Neal and his horse, Chunk of Love, win in a photo finish in this Vitamin Water spot. This originally debuted during the Super Bowl and I’m sure it caught everyone by surprise. Nice touch with the crotch pat at the end.

Note: no horses were euthanized in the making of this commercial.

4. NBA - Where Amazing Happens

This campaign has been going for a while now, but is totally worth mentioning in the top 5. Although the concept has gotten a bit played out as the season has gone on, no one disagrees how great these have been. Even through May, we are still getting some good ones, particularly the spots personalized by athletes, such as this one by Dwight Howard:

Don’t forget Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash’s questionable haircuts:

We’ve all seen the original spots before, but have you checked out YouTube in the past months? There are countless other versions created by fans that are good unto themselves. The simplicity of the commercials makes it easy for anyone to make their own. Some fans have even taken it upon themselves to do crossover ads into other sports to showcase their favorite teams:

A Philadelphia Eagles example:

Or how about a New York Yankees version recounting moments and figures in their fabled ballpark:

Ok enough of these… you get it. On to the next one…

3. 2008 NBA Playoffs - There Can Only Be One

The original split screen that debuted with Shaq and Kobe was incredible. Everyone knows their history and their story, and it was interesting to see them as one once more. Seeing this definitely got me amped for the playoffs.

Needless to say, several people within the NBA marketing department undoubtedly got huge raises this year for these two ad campaigns.

EDIT: PhDribble just posted this one and I had to include it as well:

Although not as simple as the Where Amazing Happens commercials, these too are clearly customizable and versatile. Hell, its even been extended out to movie advertisement for Adam Sandler’s new flick:

Oh, split screen goodness…

2. Sidney Crosby - League of Clutch

I included this Gatorade spot starring Sidney Crosby in an earlier post, but due to its significance to the sport, I’m placing it this high on the list.

It’s great to see Sid the Kid’s success in this postseason. Hockey is coming back big.

1. Nike Soccer in the first person

Another recent post, I’m still clearly not over this ad.

I’m aware the division is actually Nike Football. I’m a fan of the sport and all, but sorry purists (cough, Devin, cough) - for all intents and purposes, its known as soccer on this site.

Sure its a bit shaky, but Guy Ritchie did good work. This isn’t exactly Cloverfield or anything.

Soak that one in, tsarist subjects. This commercial is pure perfection.