Tags: Houston Astros, Miguel Tejada

Speaking of kids, I just ate a cupcake for breakfast. I might even have a second one after I’m done typing this. Kids however, probably can’t eat cupcakes for breakfast. They have parents. Parents that care about their dietary habits. Being 23, parents only care about you graduating and getting a job. Real person stuff.

Sorry if those previous sentences were terse and surprising. I just finished reading Kenny Mayne’s new book. It was good read. Now it is a good coaster.

Anywho, more Miguel Tejada news for the masses. Apparently he did something non-scandalous this time around. Hell, it was valiant, even. Touched after visiting a young boy with muscular dystrophy at the hospital, Tejada promised - and delivered - a homerun for the kid in his next game (Tejada’s next game, not the kid’s - he can’t play due to muscular dystrophy. Yes, prepare for more horrible things later in this post - Sorry ahead of time).

It was certainly a moving series of events, but this just got me thinking. What if the athlete fails to deliver on his promise? Does the kid lose the will to live? Could he be charged with murder? Does he have to at least go back to the hospital with lavish gifts to apologize? Imagine Tejada going back to the hospital to present the kid with an autographed copy of his Dominican birth certificate - citing newfound old age as the reason he couldn’t hit it out of the park.

And what about his teammates? Do they try and pick up the slack and hit some out themselves? Perhaps adding addendums to Tejada’s inital promises, saying in post-game conferences that they too were playing for the kid that night.

And how does the opposing pitcher respond to this? Can he be held responsible for the kid’s life as well? Does he face a moral dilemma between trying to get the out and trying to serve up a homerable (yes, that’s a word now) pitch?

I don’t know how I would be able to come through in such a situation. I would obviously have to promise something a bit more achievable. Perhaps the making of a sandwich and subsequently consuming it. Or drinking a bottle of wine. These things I could do.

Hey kid, this Cabernet’s for you.

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