Dear Dan Cloutier, Shut The Hell Up

by George on March 13, 2008

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Unwanted, unloved, and unappreciated Los Angeles Kings goaltender Dan Cloutier has decided to open his mouth. On what grounds does he feel he has earned this right?

Cloutier and his $2.55 million contract were shipped to the Kings from the Vancouver Canucks after he was deemed expendable with the arrival of Roberto Luongo. Aside from that, Cloutier’s stats were already inflated playing for a solid Canucks team. He came under fire for being fickle goalie prone to giving up the soft ones, as evidenced here:

With that in mind, the Kings thought it to be a brilliant move to bring in ol’ beach ball. They even signed him to a 2-year $6.2 million extension – despite him only playing 13 games due to injury the previous season. All this before he was healthy or played a single game in a Kings uniform!

Cloutier gets to L.A. and proceeds to put up 6-14-2 record with a 3.98 GAA and an .860 save percentage. If you don’t know what this means, IT’S NOT VERY GOOD. Apparently Cloutier was playing hurt and eventually shut it down for the year to treat a hip injury.

Fast forward to the present. After wallowing in the AHL for a year and even being waived by the team, Cloutier has made it back to the NHL level with the Kings. For whatever reason, we should apparently be proud of him, even though he was an NHL goalie all of his career and should be expected to get back to this level quickly. Anyways, Cloutier is back, and he decided to open his mouth.

In an interview with the Vancouver Sun newspaper, Cloutier details his mistreatment by the Kings. Among the ways he was mistreated, he lists:

- being encouraged to play hurt
- being forced onto an economy class flight while in pain
- having to stay at a motel 50km from his treatment facility
- having to live in a hotel room with his pregnant wife
- not being granted an apartment by the team

Dan Cloutier, to you I say SHUT UP! This isn’t third-world football or something where playing conditions and team management is overly suspect.

The vast majority of us fly economy class. Deal with it. If you don’t like it, upgrade yourself. You sure as hell have the money.

Don’t like your motel and its distance from your treatment facility? Deal with it. Hire a driver or find a new motel. You sure as hell have the money.

The worst in my mind is his demanding an apartment because his wife is pregnant. I’m sorry, Dan, but you are a multimillionaire who presumably didn’t blow all of his earnings over the past decade on high stakes poker. Manchester, New Hampshire, where the AHL Monarchs play, definitely has available and affordable housing. In fact, Rent.com tells us that “you’ll find plenty of city apartments to choose from, with the median price for apartment rentals running at $650 per month.”

You were being paid $3.1 million per year. You need to take it upon yourself to spend $650 per month to provide for your wife and newborn child, which in light of your apparent dislike of your Los Angeles sports team, named Kali.

We realize that you’re French Canadian, Dan, but honestly – shut the hell up.

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  • I'll just be happy when the Kings stop stinking up the place! I swear they are giving away free tickets with the purchase of a Happy Meal!
  • "which in light of your apparent dislike of your Los Angeles sports team, named Kali."

    I just seriously absolutely love it.

    Wonderful post. +1 for your e-mail updates (which I highly recommend to everyone).
  • Cloutier is, and always has been, a below average goaltender by NHL standards. For years his mediocre play dragged the Canucks down and I was shocked when he:

    a. found another sucker to take his contract, and
    b. got an extension...

    No wonder the Kings are so bad. Their management got their pants pulled down on this and several other deals. Too bad because good teams in Cali is great for the NHL.
  • Vancouver Diehard
    Cloutier can thank Crawford's move from Van to LA for being wanted by the Kings at all. When Crawford was in Van, Cloutier could do no wrong. I am so happy, as a Canucks fan, that Crawford loved him so much he "snapped him up" as quick as possible.
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